Everyday, I get to work with amazing women. They tell me their stories, entrusting me like I’m a friend that they’ve known for years. Each story stays with me as I prepare for their session, and long after. Miss Y is no different. Read her beautifully told testimonial below.
“I am in the middle of a huge transition period in my life. My two boys wanted more time with their father and I decided to let them go. After 12 years of being the primary parent, I’m now the weekend parent. Its different and scary and heartbreaking and new. Now that I have all of this free time, its time to get back to me; not the old me because I definitely don’t want to be her anymore, but the me that I suppressed way deep down when I married the wrong one… when I changed into what he wanted me to be, when I put all of my dreams on the back burner to support his dreams, when I became a Mommy and didn’t realize that it was an additional role in my life and that it didn’t replace my responsibilities to myself.”
“So here I am, blissfully married to a woman, patiently co-parenting with a narcissist, and learning to love my children from afar. And it’s time to remember who the fuck I am. The woman who has been asleep for so many years, the woman who is fiercely sensual, the Queen with so many dreams and faith the size of a mustard seed. I whisper, “Its time to wake from your slumber, Queen,” and I wait to observe Her. Do we recognize each other? How much HAVE I changed? Is She proud or disappointed in me? I wonder if I’m more afraid of how hard or how easy it will be to become Her again. Was waking Her a mistake or a blessing? I have to have faith in myself. I’ve made it this far in my life journey as some other woman who satisfied the desires of many except Her own. Its now time to remember who the fuck I am and have faith in the version of me who is only loyal to me, who selflessly serves me, who considers only me in all things. The me that I was told no selfless mother or wife could ever be simultaneously. This me that I remember is not selfish nor is she boastful. All she wants to do is protect me, nurture me, take care of my needs so that in turn, I can healthily give my best in all relationships, business endeavors, and life goals.”
“She is who my wife saw in me when we were friends; the reason why she asked me to marry her. I couldn’t see it, but she did. And I am grateful for her love and patience. My makeup is fierce, my long tendrils are curled and flowing. I step out of the director’s chair, look in the mirror, and think, “Harpo! Who ‘dis woman?” She is me and I am She. I’m ready for this shoot! I’m nervous, but faithful. I can do this! Yes, I have stretch marks all up my ass crack, across my hips, and a few from housing my chirren in my belly. Yes, I have magic fat in my pubic area and that fat has sister fat through my belly that loves me soooo much that it wraps its arms around my whole torso and just holds the fuck on all day, no matter how much I change my diet or exercise. And yes, I have thighs that enjoy advertising their excess of cottage cheese whenever I sit down and also eat up every single pair of shorts I wear. I have ingrown hairs that itch and scars from ones that didn’t make it out. I have freshly plucked chin and nipple hairs. I have all of that and then some! But who gives a fuck? Nobody gives a fuck except the old me! This new She, she doesn’t give a fuck about any of that because She knows that none of it is relevant to who the fuck I am and as She wakes up, Her whisper grows stronger and I hear Her say, “Remember who the fuck I am.”
And it feels phenomenal! It feels like freshly lit fireworks in my belly and I’m waiting for the explosion of joy, queendom, and new beginnings. I need the old me to see that She is on fucking fire, swallowing up every challenge that life is and will throw my way. I need to see the old me go up in the same flames. Yessss! Please engulf that old bitch up into a pillar of salty ashes. She need not to ever come back.”
XOXO – Miss Y